Unwrap moments

Time- the most valuable gift 💫

Unlike most kids who fondly recall holidays with warmth, considering it their favorite time of the year, I was not one of those children. In my hometown, Christmas Day was observed on January 6th as we celebrated The 3 Kings instead of Santa.

Growing up in a modest household with my parents and two younger brothers, my mom worked tirelessly each year to ensure that all three of us had a magical day when we woke up in the morning. She did her best with what she had to shower us with gifts. Only later in life did I realize the challenges she faced to make it all come together for us and why she worked so hard to give us what she thought would compensate for what would never have, time with our father.

Contrary to the typical festive spirit, my father never contributed to the preparations—neither in shopping, wrapping, nor assembling toys. He didn't even join us in the morning to open gifts.

I recall either waking up my brothers or my brothers waking me up in a silent fashion, my mom quietly closing the living room door, urging us to be quiet while we opened our gifts so as not to wake him, we couldn’t play music, or even play with our toys if they made too much noise, laughter and joy were there but contained to respect he was still in bed.

I remember as a kid asking myself “ I wonder why he doesn’t want to get out of bed and join us, it felt weird to me and sad knowing he was just in the next room. I would see movies and tv commercials showing families that included both mom and dad with all the children in the most magical fashion opening gifts on Christmas morning and always wonderful why it felt so different in my home.

(I don’t have any Christmas childhood pictures so I am this one from last years in Spain)

It was just the three of us and my mom, she sat on a chair, watching us show her what we got, my mom never had a single gift to open, as my father never bothered to buy her anything.

I used to feel so sad to see she never had anything to unwrap.

My father had gifts from my mom placed on the same chair each year—gifts he never bothered to open, sometimes leaving them untouched for months.

I used to feel so sad to see the rejection, unkindness and lack of love she felt.

Later on in life I realized the sadness didn’t come from the gifts or lack of gifts, it was not the somber quiet room conditions, it was not from watching the cruel indifference games he played with her, it was the scarcity of time that stayed with me and broke my heart.

She was robbed of time with a husband

I was robbed of time with a father

You can replace always everything in life, but time.

No amount of gifts will ever replace or mask the magic of love, the feeling you get get when time, attention, presence is given to you.

Ultimately, it is these heartfelt moments or lack of that linger in people's memories.

Life is only going to give us so much time, if you love someone, gift it to them.

I hope my children understand the depth of my appreciation I have now as an adult and Mom for the holidays, as it's a time when I relish every moment spent with them. Nowadays, I make it a tradition to play Christmas songs, pop champagne, light candles, prepare delicious meals, share laughter, and of course, shower them with lovely presents. However, what truly fills my heart with joy and happiness is our collective effort to create a magical, happy, and bright Christmas morning together. For me, the greatest gift I can give them is the commitment to always be present by their side.

Next Sunday is Christmas Eve and I won’t be sending you my usual Sunday letter, so I take this opportunity to wishing you a magical Christmas eve and Christmas day with your loved ones where time with them is the biggest gift under your beautiful trees.

With love,

Susana ~